• Phoenix

Body Positivity and Self Confidence


Imagine...

You're 18 years old, fresh out of high school. Your body isn't really that toned, but you're comfortable enough in your body to flaunt it. Two years later, you're a mother. Not really that active. No knowledge of how to diet or eat right. Suddenly, you realize how big your stomach has gotten post partum and you become depressed. Your boyfriend doesn't really let you know that you're beautiful and now you feel undesirable. Your best friend, at the time, tells you that no one wants the fat girl, you need to lose weight.


If I'm as predictable as I think I am, you will guess that these are things that I experienced in my life. Can you believe that the people closest to me were the ones tearing me down? I always felt I needed to get out but I didn't know how.

In high school, I was never unsure of myself. Confidence was NEVER something I struggled with. I just went out and did it because I knew I was a boss. Even when I went to the dentist and he pulled the wrong tooth out, causing me to be snaggled tooth since I was 14, I always held my head high because I knew if anybody messed with me, I had cousins that would handle up.😝


I learned how to deal with self confidence and self esteem early. I remember coming home that day from the dentist. I was in shambles. I just knew I was going to be the laughing stock of Huntington High School. My momma looked at me, grabbed my face and told me that I was beautiful and if anybody that was my friend made fun of me for missing a tooth, they weren't my friend in the first place.

I went to school that next day frightened at what everyone would think. I was questioned on it but no one really joked, at least not to my face. A year later I got braces with a temporary tooth attached to my brackets and that boosted my confidence. Nobody really brought it up though. I had the same friends all throughout high school, for the exception of a few here and there as I became more active around campus.

When I went to college, I realized I had no real friends. My boyfriend's friends were my friends. Each guy had a significant other so those were the girls I called my friends. Once we moved off campus and had our oldest son, is when my confidence started dropping for my body. I gained a significant amount of weight from being pregnant and also sitting in the house taking of the baby. I wasn't active, I had no sense of style. I felt undesirable. For that reason, I was extremely insecure, but I had every reason to be.


My weight continued to fluctuate over the years. I had 2 more children between 2013 and 2016. Before my second child, I was a very unhealthy 143 lbs. All the weight I had lost was from stress and depression between 2010 and 2012. I was small but still not happy. I couldn't understand why I was skinny but still lacked confidence.

Once I turned 30, I decided that it would be the year I would stop caring about who thought what. The only opinions of my body that matter is what I think. I purchase crop tops often but I only wear them in the house. Or if I wear them outside, it's layered. My confidence is growing slowly but not to the point that I can freely dress. I'm not where I want to be confidently but I am definitely so far from who I use to be. My confidence is at an all time high and I don't plan on stopping.


How have you overcome body and confidence issues? Do you currently struggle with body positivity? Talk to me! Comment down below and let me know. Be sure to subscribe and share this post to inspire someone that needs uplifting. Love you guys! Until next time...

Phoenix


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