• Phoenix

A Single Girl's Guide: Break-ups


Break-ups! They're tough right? Sometimes you see them coming and sometimes you don't, but no matter what, breaking up isn't fun. There are some extreme cases that I wouldn't wish on anyone but that's not the purpose of this post.


You see, I fell in love with my bestfriend, and this was definitely NOT the break-up I saw coming. We've been friends a number of years, but no matter how much I loved him as a friend, he never stopped wanting to be with me. We slowly learned that he was in love with the chase, infatuated with the idea of being with me and that's ultimately what amicably ended our relationship.

He's still my bestfriend through everything. I still love him, even though it took me years to come to this conclusion, but what's next? How do I behave as a single woman, when my heart is still very much in love? That's where the idea of creating a bit of a guide, A Single Girl's Guide, to some of the toughest phases and situations to get through after a break-up. Here is how I'm getting through one of the toughest break-ups to date.

Cry! Get it out. You have to! I'm not one to cry about much. It takes a lot to get me to tears. I have to be really hurt or really mad. This break-up isn't really as damaging as past break-ups because it was a mutual thing, but it hurts just the same. Not being able to have my bestfriend as my lover is tough. It'll take some getting use to but until then, I'm going to cry it out.


Talk To Someone You Trust. After a good cry, you have to be able to talk to someone about it. If not, you will go insane holding that pain inside. Trust me, I know. I use to not trust anyone. my last break-up, which didn't phase me much because he was piece of shit, took me 7 weeks to tell my bestfriend because I don't talk to people about my problems. Not even my bestie of almost 10 years. I've gotten a lot better but...I digress. Make sure it's someone you really trust, and I mean REALLY TRUST. Some people look for your downfall, but if you really trust that person, talk to them. For me, it's just easier for me to talk to the person that break my heart so that I can get some type of closure (I don't believe in closure). It's been working so far. *shrugs*

Sit In Silence. Sitting with your thoughts can sometimes turn into understanding. I'm a Christian follower of God (no disrespect to any other religions) but that's when I find that God is sending me a message. That silence allows Him to communicate to me what I need to hear so that I can get over this temporary pain. However your silence translates to you, whether it be meditation or genuine silence, give it a try. I promise you'll feel better afterwards.

Eat Girl! A broken heart will do one of two things: make you stress eat, or make your appetite disappear. Either way, you gotta eat. For me, they only thing I can seem to eat is cereal. I'm obsessed with Special K cereal and vanilla soy milk. I find that I've been able to eat breakfast but nothing during the day and then I'm super hungry after 9 pm. However I can get my nutrients in without starving is fine with me, but don't be me. If your appetite has seemed to find something else to do while you're thinking about your broken heart, make yourself eat something. If you're a stress eater and can't control your appetite, pace yourself and trust you aren't alone.


Sad Songs Are the Enemy and should be treated as such. You're already hurting, and depending on the level of fuckery you're dealing with in your break-up, you don't need to bring yourself further down by listening to Another Sad Love Song by Toni Braxton (or whatever your go to break-up song) a million times. Try listening to an uplifting (or comedic) podcast. I have my normal podcasts that I depend on to take my mind off of things.

There you have it! The first installment of A Single Girl's Guide is down and dusted. This will definitely be a series that I keep on the site so stay tuned for more topics. Also, if there are any topics you'd like for me to cover, let me know below in the comments. My Phoenix Beauty 101 question of the week is what is your go to remedy to heal a broken heart? Don't forget to like, share, comment, and SUBSCRIBE!!! Until next time...



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