Motivation Monday: One Thing Learned in 2017

January 7, 2018 8:50pm

As I sit here and reflect on this past year, so much has happened in such a little time. My life was becoming like a Tale of Two Cities, in a sense of the quote, "It was the best of times and it was the worst times." Okay, maybe saying the "worst of times" would be an exaggeration but I did experience some struggles, but I'm also human. You show me a human on the face of the planet that's never experienced struggles. (Don't worry, I'll wait...) Anyways...

The year of 2017 taught me to be silent. I learned to move in silence. I learned to struggle in silence and finally, I learned to succeed in silence. Not every win has to be announced, nor does every failure. I became so silent in the year 2017 that my own best friend, someone that I talk to at least 4 days out of the week didn't even know the extent of which I was hurting. She still wants to fight me about it and says that I CHOSE to struggle by myself but *shrugs* that's how life is sometimes. Sometimes, you just don't want to bother people about your own issues or problems, especially when they're in such a good place.

I fell in love in late 2016 and it was nice at the time but...you know what, I don't want to give him air time on my platform so we'll just say it happened and I've moved far from it. *KANYE SHRUGS* ...but I lost myself shortly after that ended. I kept asking myself what is it about ME that keeps attracting these f*ck boys? Why do I always end up in these "situationships?" Do I have Boo Boo the Fool written on my forehead? I just couldn't understand. I wasn't so much hurt over, yet another failed relationship, I was hurt because I've felt, for the longest time that something was wrong with me. Why would I think that though? I'm a F*CKING CATCH!

In October I had the time of my life! I fell into my work. Like literally was so busy that I was having to map out play time with the boys because I was so tired from working all day. I managed to attend my high school alma mater and had a blast. It was great to see all of my former students.

Fast forward a couple weeks, I had a conversation with a friend. He told me, "You're so much more ambitious than you make yourself out to be." That hit me kind of hard because I'm forever doubting myself. All my life, I've helped others realize their true potential and purpose but when it comes to self, I always neglect my goals, aspirations, and true potential. Why do we do that? Is there anyone else that does that?

I've always wanted to start a blog, record videos for YouTube, sing publicly, and be a sex symbol like all the other Insta-Models you scroll past on your time lines. I've wanted to do all of these things. Yet, I was settling for a mediocre life, knowing that I'm capable of SO MUCH MORE.

I started building phoenixbeauty .com on October 18, 2017. I told no one, like NO ONE!!! Not my mom, not my best friend, not anyone. I was determined to do something by myself, with no one to tell me what I should do or how should do it. I just wanted to surprise everyone and show them that I am ambitious, I am capable of achieving something by myself.

I launched on November 1, 2017, but I was so use to not telling anyone anything, at that point, that I had forgot to announce that I had launched. Imagine that: having a website that you sacrificed many sleepless nights for and no one knew to visit because you wanted to continue to move in silence.

I'll continue to move silently in 2018 but only where it counts. I will also stop being so selfish to myself in 2018. The time for being modest is over. The year 2018 is about living in our truths and purpose. What have you ALWAYS wanted to do but were too afraid or embarrassed to do? Do it! Even if you aren't sure who'd listen, who'd watch, who'd care at all to notice. DO IT! Live in your truth. Live in your purpose. Don't worry about haters because they are only doing their jobs. Leave me a comment and let me know what it is that you've always wanted to do and how you plan to achieve it.